Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
