Nicole vs. Life
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
