CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
