nut hugger
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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