sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
