i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
