The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
