I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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