I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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