You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
