this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
