Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
