Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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