Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
