I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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