Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
