why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
