five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Too much gin, very little bucket
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
