You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
