Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
wow bdsm is so cute
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
