i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
