literally had 100 drinks last night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
