I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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