I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was like eating out sand paper
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
