my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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