I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
