pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
