At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
