Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
