He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
