i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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