There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
