I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
