I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
