I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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