I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
