I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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