scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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