3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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