the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
