I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
All the doctor said was why
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
