Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
