we have officially lost it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Randomize
