I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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