Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
