whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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