He felt like a one man threesome
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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