He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
