i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
