I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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